I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
