Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
