grandma shit on top of the toilet
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
