You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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