Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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