he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
