How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize