if you like me you must not know who I am
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
