Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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