I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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