Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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