You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
