I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
