summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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