R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
