Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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