How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
