He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
