You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
