What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
