She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
