My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
