Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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