i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I have feelings that need drinking.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize