I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
