but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
