I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
