.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
