Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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