im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Every concussion has its silver lining
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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