Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
