I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
