We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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