Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
