Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
