at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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