you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
