You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
