Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
