Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
