after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
