If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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