She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
