people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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