im about as happy as oj after his trial
i can't believe i had my finger in that
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
