Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
