Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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