got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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