Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
