can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
PANTIES FOUND
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