he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
