I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
dude. I can hear the air.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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