i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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