i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
