Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
