one might say we're banned from that church
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
