theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize