I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
