That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize