My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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