You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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