DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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