We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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