Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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