wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
