Im at strip club and am horny
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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